Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
|
Post by Magule on Nov 13, 2006 2:01:59 GMT -5
just a post to bump out the t or f
|
|
|
Post by isis63 on Nov 13, 2006 8:21:15 GMT -5
The Naming of Jesus Christ The three wise men went to visit Jesus right after he was born. One wise man was extremely tall. He hit his head on the top of the door frame and said, ''Jesus Christ!'' Joseph looked at Mary and said ''Write that down -- that's better than Clyde!''
*lame but it's the best I could do this morning*
|
|
Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
|
Post by Magule on Nov 13, 2006 12:32:17 GMT -5
wow that is lame....its sooo bad it made me smile
|
|
|
Post by isis63 on Nov 14, 2006 8:30:20 GMT -5
Are You Really Sure? A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
|
|
|
Post by isis63 on Nov 15, 2006 8:09:04 GMT -5
bump
|
|
Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
|
Post by Magule on Nov 15, 2006 16:09:45 GMT -5
The incredibly dumb
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."
|
|
|
Post by isis63 on Nov 15, 2006 17:33:29 GMT -5
The sadest part about that is there are people out there that are THAT STUPID!!!!!
|
|
Raistlin
W&W Veteran
Don't mess with the Mage
Posts: 638
|
Post by Raistlin on Dec 22, 2006 18:43:24 GMT -5
My little contribution presented to me by a sweet old lady.
The Sweet Old Lady
A guy was walking through a grocery store when he noticed an elderly woman was following him. Anytime he stopped she stopped. When he started walking again so did she.
Up and down the aisles they went and he couldn't understand it. Finally at the check out she approached him.
"I hope I wasn't making you feel uncomfortable." She told him. "It's just that you remind me so much of my youngest son who just passed away. I miss him so......
"You think you could do me a favor. If you could wave to me as I leave the store and say, 'Bye, Mom! See you at home!' It would be so much to me."
The man thought nothing bad about it. She went through the check out and was heading for the door.
"Bye, Mom! See you at home!" The man said.
The old lady's lip quivered just a little as she fought back a tear and walked out the door.
When the man was finished checking out the cashier said, "That comes to $189.56."
"What! That much? How is that possible?" He asked.
"The old lady said her son was going to pay for her's."
Lesson to be learned.... never trust an old lady.
|
|
|
Post by isis63 on Dec 23, 2006 0:15:28 GMT -5
LOL, shoot I'm going to try that
|
|
|
Post by AC_Shadow on Dec 23, 2006 1:22:11 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHA, raistlin good one, heres my pathetic attempt:
*A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"
|
|
Raistlin
W&W Veteran
Don't mess with the Mage
Posts: 638
|
Post by Raistlin on Dec 23, 2006 12:53:20 GMT -5
That was sweet! It's not that pathetic since I know that story.
|
|
Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
|
Post by Magule on Dec 23, 2006 13:13:15 GMT -5
awsome joke dragoon
|
|
|
Post by AC_Shadow on Dec 24, 2006 2:14:11 GMT -5
yea, made me laugh
|
|
Raistlin
W&W Veteran
Don't mess with the Mage
Posts: 638
|
Post by Raistlin on Dec 29, 2006 14:22:36 GMT -5
I couldn't help it. I saw this joke on the TP and had to share with everyone:
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
|
|
Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
|
Post by Magule on Dec 29, 2006 15:09:49 GMT -5
nice
|
|