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Post by Lord_Lockey on Oct 21, 2006 18:33:00 GMT -5
rotflmao
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Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
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Post by Magule on Oct 22, 2006 2:20:41 GMT -5
oamlftor
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Post by isis63 on Oct 22, 2006 7:11:55 GMT -5
Mag, I know I'm old but what the heck does OAMLFTOR mean?
My bad joke of the day: It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
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Raistlin
W&W Veteran
Don't mess with the Mage
Posts: 638
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Post by Raistlin on Oct 22, 2006 9:19:51 GMT -5
Interesting, and devious. Just like a woman.
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Post by isis63 on Oct 22, 2006 9:24:16 GMT -5
Yuppers............... How do you think I got all my turnips? ?
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Morgothas
Clan Member
Chief Welcomer
Beware of George my pet Beholder
Posts: 1,300
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Post by Morgothas on Oct 22, 2006 10:20:39 GMT -5
Well you are the Turnip Queen.....lol
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Post by isis63 on Oct 22, 2006 10:25:24 GMT -5
And don't you forget it my love. I have over a million of them I could burry you with if you would like....................
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Morgothas
Clan Member
Chief Welcomer
Beware of George my pet Beholder
Posts: 1,300
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Post by Morgothas on Oct 22, 2006 10:35:47 GMT -5
Can't resist a blonde joke......
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".
He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
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Post by Magule on Oct 22, 2006 14:09:41 GMT -5
haha
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Post by Lord_Lockey on Oct 22, 2006 14:42:47 GMT -5
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.
The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you.
To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.
To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.
To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.
A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"
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Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
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Post by Magule on Oct 22, 2006 22:49:52 GMT -5
good one lockey
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Morgothas
Clan Member
Chief Welcomer
Beware of George my pet Beholder
Posts: 1,300
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Post by Morgothas on Nov 4, 2006 16:51:32 GMT -5
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.
The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"
To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."
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Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
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Post by Magule on Nov 5, 2006 5:26:43 GMT -5
heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy MACARENA!!!!
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Post by isis63 on Nov 5, 2006 7:49:17 GMT -5
The last few jokes were really funny, I liked them. thank you
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Magule
Sen
Clan Member
Wizards and Warriors Rocks!!!!!
Posts: 7,187
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Post by Magule on Nov 5, 2006 17:32:33 GMT -5
how many witch does it take to screw in a lightbulb???
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